ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
His nipple licking is glorious
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