You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize