Who did Billy Mays play for?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
