someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
