i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
