11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wear drunk well.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
