If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
