just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
only if we run a train.
done.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
