The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
