yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
