i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
