Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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