Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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