Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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