WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
