So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
