dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
