Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
