just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
