But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
no, he came in my armpit
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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