dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
