i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
