Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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