I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
