His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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