The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
