My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
