Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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