You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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