We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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