thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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