Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
