The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
pray to the hookup gods
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
