She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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