Pappa wants mamma naked
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your penis caused this!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
