I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
