I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
