Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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