oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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