please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
