Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
