1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
