He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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