I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
