just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
