I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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