Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize