no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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