He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
