Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
