I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
