my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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