cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
