did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
