Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
