Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
