i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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