Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
