She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize